10- You spent Sunday night in jail for cow tipping... with your Oldsmobile.
9- Thanks to you, Jack Daniel's stock is up 15¼ since Friday.
8- Boris Yeltsin called personally to ask you to slow down on the Stoli.
7- You're now the proud inventor of the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.
6- Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.
5- Without fail, dry cleaner employees greet you with, "Hey, it's Vomit Man!"
4- The doorman asks for your ID just to see how long it'll take you to find your pants.
3- Out of panic, your liver leaps out of your abdominal cavity and into a pan of frying onions.
2- Worried friends call Monday morning to make sure you returned the goat.
1- You're now sober enough to realize "Drink Canada Dry" is a slogan and not a personal challenge.