This stuff is so funny!

Thakkar enlightened me on this one...fundooo hai baap! I mean I do realise Indian English is like this but still some howlarious stuff man....

Some excerpts from above linked article:-

John Lawler of the University of Michigan observes the following anomalies in the grammar of Indian English:

• The progressive tense in stative verbs: I am understanding it. She is knowing the answer.; an influence of traditional Hindi grammar, it is more common in northern states.
• Variations in noun number and determiners: He performed many charities. She loves to pull your legs.
• Tag questions: The use of "isn't it?" and "no?" as general question tags, as in You're going, isn't it? instead of You're going, aren't you?, and He's here, no? ('na' often replaces 'no')

In addition to Lawler's observations, other unique patterns are also standard and will frequently be encountered in Indian English:

• Anglicisation of Indian words especially in Chennai by adding "ify" to a local Tamil word. (This is so true! I remember Anticaps asking me about this one...)
• Use of the plural ladies for a single lady or a woman of respect, as in "There was a ladies at the phone."
• Use of "open" and "close" instead of switch/turn on/off, as in "Open the air conditioner" instead of "Turn on the air conditioner", and "Open your shirt" for "Take off your shirt." This construction is also found in Quebec English.
• Use of "current went" and "current came" for "The power went out" and "The power came back"
• Creation of nonsensical, rhyming double-words to denote generality of idea or act, a 'totality' of the word's denotation, as in "No more ice-cream-fice-cream for you!", "Let's go have some chai-vai (tea, "tea and stuff")." or "There's a lot of this fighting-witing going on in the neighbourhood." (Prevalent mainly in Hindi- and Punjabi-speaking states.)
• Use of "baazi"/"baaji" or "-giri" for the same purpose, as in "business-baazi" or "cheating-giri." (Also prevalent mainly in Hindi-speaking states.)
• Use of word "wallah" to denote occupation or 'doing of/involvement in doing' something, as in "The taxi-wallah overcharged me.", "The grocery-wallah sells fresh fruit." or "He's a real music-wallah: his CD collection is huge."

Idioms and Popular Phrases:

• "Out of station" to mean "out of town".
• "Join duty" to mean "reporting to work for the first time". "Rejoin duty" is to come back to work after a vacation.
• "Hello, What do you want?": used by some when answering a phone call, not perceived as impolite by most Indians
• What a nonsense/silly you are!" or "Don't be doing such nonsense anymore.": occasional - idiomatic use of nonsense/silly as nouns
• "tight slap" to mean "hard slap" (This should have been tite slep)

Anamolous Usage:

• "Revert" used to mean "reply to." ("Why have you not reverted my letter?" meaning "Why have you not replied to my letter?")
• The word "healthy" to refer to fat people, in North India in general and in Bihar in particular as in "His build is on the healthy side" to refer to a positively overweight person. It is used because most people who are thin often suffer from many diseases. People presume that if a person is in a financial position to get fat he musn't suffer from diseases i.e. he must be healthy
• The expression "my dear", used as an adjective to refer a likeable person. as in "He is a my dear person." Very common in Bihar. (How the heck does he know this one?)
• Use of "reduce" to mean "lose weight." "Have you reduced?" (So fucking true)
• It is very common to notice Indian speakers adding "no" as a suffix at the end of a sentence to emphasize a particular point.:For example, "I told you no?!" in Indian English means "Didn't I tell you?"

Words unique to Indian English:

• French beard to mean a moustache and goatee that wrap around the mouth. (Mins that makes it sound like a monster no??)
• would-be (fiancé/fiancée) (Howlarious and so true)

Bas khatam and I am posting some more now :)