Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Loneliness Of The Long Distance Walker.


Listening to Yael Naim's 'Lonely' in a loop

The morning walk doesn't take the edge off my sorrow

Watching the sun come up didn't hit no high notes

The music seems to be missing in my life

One does stupid things in life. Throwing oneself at someone can count amongst the el stupeedo things one does. Especially when one is not wanted. That hurt lingers. Doesn't go away anywhere. Depression follows me around like a rain cloud waiting to burst. Alcohol looses inhibitions. You end up doing stupider things then. Thinking goes away. Acting on impulse has costs attached. The price must be paid . The heart is not given to listen to anything or anyone. It wants, it seeks and self – destructs.

It pays not to quit apparently. That my dear is all bollocks. Quitting gives you peace of mind. Persevering leads to your lil heart breaking into a zillion pieces. I hide my heart under a landscape of cheerfulness. I am happy or so it seems. Surface happiness is easy to obtain – superficial things can give me that. Watching flickr can give me that. Doesn't mean shit all in the long run.

Envy is a bad mistress, she needs to be struck from the heart or she will eat you up alive. Conquer her and you have conquered one – fiftieth of your desires and ambitions. Sound like a guru don't I? I think if I was a guru I would allow my disciples to drink alcohol and have loads of sex like bunnies. Bunnies are weird creatures. I know someone who has the most hideous stuffed bunny I have had the misfortune to see. Poor bunny – his existence must be so puerile. No offence Mr Bunny Owner. :)

The weak sun seems to desire to be let out

The clouds are still hanging around

Preventing a glorious day from emerging

Is there a triumph at the end?

Victory laps are awaiting

This too shall pass

2 comments:

Pravin said...

Hideous? HIDEOUS? It's a rainbow colored bunny! It's a happy bunny! Buttons is mad at you. *pffbbbtttt*

Life isn't about NOT quitting. It's about "knowing when to quit" and "knowing when to keep going".

You need to go on when its about you. Ask yourself what makes you happy. A better lifestyle? A better job? Aim for that. Unless you aim, you aren't going to try for it. You can't lay back and hope fate to hand you stuff on a platter.

But at the same time, accept your limitations. When I was much younger, I wanted to be a scientist. Then a kick boxer. I'm not capable of being either. Oh, its not because I don't try. I try.

I had a chinese trainer for 2 months. But then it didn't work out because I'm a lazy slob. And because my body doesn't react that way.

When it comes to relationships it's a lot trickier. Marriages aren't made in heaven. Soulmates don't exist. There is no serendipity. It's something we make up to add to the wonder of love.

You didn't just "fall in love" with this chap. The process was slower. You "learnt to love" him. Then you looked back and thought that you were in love with him all along.

Move on. Find another love-struck romeo who sings the streets a serenade. That was corny. But then its the easiest and the best. We could always get the guy you did all this for, to come back and accept you, but the cost will not be worth it :)

Don't you ever lose that laughter. It's an amazing beacon for people who want to locate the group in crowded restaurants ;)

Spikey said...

Sorrow is something that we never associate with our dear Kitty! :D
So whatever it is...chin up and go find a Chinnappa of yer choice :P!

P.S: Awesssum to see that 'El Stupeedo' has infiltrated yer lingo!
*Sniff* *Sniff* Finally people are waking up to French, Italian and of course Spanish.