I am angry and pissed off. I feel the futility and helplessness of it all. What is the f***ing point I want to scream at these people? How dare they come to my city and make it burn? Who are they - these people, who feel that they can enter, rape my city and die for some unknown (and I don't give a shit about it to be honest) cause...
I finished reading 'Once Was Bombay' by Pinki Virani for the 2nd time in the book's lifespan and fell in love with my city all over again. She brings my city to life through her interactions with its politicians, people and Bollywood of course.
She names Vijay Salaskar and there is one chapter on the underworld talking about him. I read about this man and how his wife prays for his safe return. Well now, there will not be a safe return for her husband except for his dead, cold body. Her children will not have a father anymore.
How does killing innocent people justify anything? Does the terrorist check if the person is Hindu/Muslim/white/black or f***ing blue before killing? I don't think the person is even a human being, just a target that is in the way of this f***ing cause.
I am blabbering now...but I am so upset about this..my city is not a battleground. Go fight battles where they need to be fought, should be fought. The Oberoi and the Taj are not battlegrounds and in my lifetime, I hope never to see a repeat of this.
I told my sister earlier, my generation didn't see the kind of violence hers does. There is too much of this senseless shit going on. I have become indifferent to it. This time, the famed Mumbai spirit is broken without a doubt and its going to take awhile for it stand and there is no doubt about that - it will stand, it will rise and it will crush anything that chooses to destroy it.
A friend put it quite succinctly - 'to think all we want to do is live a peaceful life, fall in love, have a few drinks, attend a few plays & bitch about work'. Not too much to ask for no?
Friday, November 28, 2008
Once Was Bombay
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I see places where we hung out, couple of friends and I , we had some drinks and we sang some songs and every time we'd visit that place, we'd remember those drinks, and we'd remember those songs..
I see places, where we had some food, not inside the Grand, but just outside, kebabs -late at night. I remember the aroma, and then the walks at the Marine Drive.
I see places where watched performances, of people from earth, who played music for people from earth, where a friend pointed out the office he works for nearby, while I pointed out the violinist-lady I was falling in love with, while we both got drenched in rain eating masala-chana.
For sometime now when I'll visit them again, I wonder if I'd hear the songs that we sang, I wonder if I'd remember where we sat when we sang those songs. I wonder if the people from earth would be able to play those instruments as they did earlier. Will I smell the same aroma from those kebabs? Will the violinist-lady be able to face the crowd as calmly as she did before?
Someone, please help me preserve my memory...
It was about 36 odd hours after the whole horror unfolded, that I was in a rick trying to get to my office < just like all the others >, and I happened to pass by Andheri station. I see about 70-80% of the usual crowd, back and going on with the usual hubbub. For a minute.. the two glorious words 'Mumbai Spirit' loomed large in front of me.
But on second glance, the tension writ on the faces was not for the people who passed away or probable terrorist attacks. It seemed to be more for the missed bus or random push in the crowd. It made me realize that 'Mumbai Spirit' is nothing but a misnomer for the nonchalance that we have started feeling to events of such huge magnitude. We all want to close our eyes, sleep on it, make it fade away like it never happened and get on with our usual cycle of getting the train, hailing the rick, working 9 to 5 etc etc.
The truth is that our senses, our feelings are getting numbed with time. Big time! Evolution? Who knows!!
the sacry part is that "our generation" did see a lot of violence, especially in bombay, and yet in hindsight it seems like a better time.
N, it does seem like that no?
yes.. too much senselessness happening these days - i never could understand the religious side of things (may be because of my mixed parentage). always let people talk and argue on whatever worked for them. but afterall, we all belong to the human kind first and foremost!
..to think all we want to do is live a peaceful life, fall in love, have a few drinks, attend a few plays & bitch about work..
you've put this so well!
i don't understand how people just miss out the whole point of being alive! we're all part of this continual evolution. we're all connected, we've all started off from the same single cell years ago.. humanity comes first, before everything! and yet they put these man made things - religion, nationality.. - it is so so sad.
but yes, you've written this so well. thank you.
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